Who is Valentino McLaughlin?

With the NBA season quickly drawing to a close, many teams are focused on the upcoming NBA Draft. Most of the attention has been on Jahlil Okafor and Karl Anthony Towns, but the buzz around NBA front offices has been about Valentino McLaughlin.

You are not alone if your first question is: who is heck is that and where is he from? Valentino is a 5’8 point guard from Phillips Island, just outside of Australia. He grew up idolizing the sport, but he was never very good. Cut from his fourth grade team, McLaughlin was determined to prove everyone wrong. He spent six hours a day working after school to become the next star. He watched as much basketball as he could and took 1500 shots every single day.

All of Valentino’s hard work amounted to absolutely nothing as he failed to make the team every single year from fifth grade until his senior year of high school. Getting cut from the team nine years in a row would be enough for most players to get the message that they are terrible, but not Valentino.

For his eighteenth birthday, his parents bought him a pair of ACTON RocketSkates with the hopes that Valentino would find a new hobby. Instead, Valentino put on the RocketSkates and headed to the courts. Though he was not a great skater, Valentino instantly started making more shots with the skates.

His newfound success gave Valentino hope and sparked an idea. He realized if he could just learn how to effectively move in the skates, he could compete with anyone on the court.  Valentino enlisted the help of Tomas Petronis, the famed Lithuanian skater, who happens to be a huge basketball fan.

Tomas taught Valentino how to glide across the court and jump in the skates. Suddenly a player that could never touch the net was throwing down ‘Vince Carter like’ dunks. With the skates on his feet, Valentino began playing like someone 6’8 rather than 5’8. Under Tomas’s tutelage, he became the best shooter, passer, defender and dunker on the island. He joined a local men’s league and averaged 68.5 points, 10 assists, 14 rebounds and 11 steals a game. In just two months, he had become the most dominate player in the island’s history.

It’s one thing to be the best player on an island with a population of less than 8,000 people, but how will Valentino fare in the NBA?

During one of his games, Valentino caught the attention of a Knicks scout who happened to be visiting the island on vacation. The scout was in awe of Valentino’s abilities on the skates and sent a video to NBA commissioner Adam Silver who invited Valentino to the NBA Combine. In two combine games, Valentino averaged 34 points, 24 assists, 16 rebounds and 8 steals.

Valentino had this to say after the combine: “I never imagined that NBA players would be better than the studs we have at Phillips Island, but they are. I kept passing the ball to the other players and they kept making it. It was a remarkable concept.”

With his unbelievable athleticism and play making skills, Valentino has shot up to the top of many teams draft boards. We have never seen a prospect come into the league with so much promise. He makes LeBron James look like the Smush Parker of prospects,” said analyst Jay Bilas.

The Lakers, who have the second pick, feel Valentino would be the perfect fit in Hollywood and have made quite the offer to the Timberwolves for the first pick. “It would be a shame to see such a great talent wasted away in freezing Minnesota,” Lakes General Manager Mitch Kupchak said.

Since the Lakers have no one of value on their roster, they had to be creative with their offer. The team has offered Jordan Clarkson, Julius Randle and the draft rights to any future sons the two players may have in addition to 5 first round picks, unlimited access to the Lakers’ practice facility and an autograph poster of Kobe Bryant. At this time, the Timberwolves are holding out for a Lakers’ championship trophy as well.

If you don’t know who Valentino McLaughlin is, you better start taking note, because he and his RocketSkates are about to take over the NBA.

Rockets lose to the Warriors after refusing to wear their RocketSkates

We here at ACTON tried to convince the Houston Rockets that using our product was the only way they would beat the Golden State Warriors. The team won with heart against the Clippers, but everyone knew they would need an added boost to get by the Warriors. Once we persuaded the team that our product was named after them, they agreed to try them out in practice. Dwight Howard and Josh Smith reportedly shot 95% and 94% respectively from the free throw line while wearing RocketSkates at practice. James Harden was seen literally flying past defenders in these stakes as up-tempo practice took on a new meaning.

 

 

Come game time however; coach McHale had his doubts. “While there is nothing in the rule book that says RocketSkates are not allowed, something about wearing them in a game feels illegal.” McHale went on to say that he was afraid of possible consequences after watching the Patriots go through deflate gate. McHale also mentioned that Trevor Ariza would have to sit out the series if the team used the product, because the forward could not skate. “It amazes me that someone who played college basketball in Southern California never learned how to skate,” McHale said.

 

With his team down three games to one, Harden pleaded with his coach to allow the team to use RocketSkates. “We won multiple championships when I was with the Celtics and we only used traditional shoes.” McHale said.

 

McHale’s stubbornness cost the Rockets a chance at the Finals and hopefully he takes us up on our offer next year. How cool would basketball be on RocketSkates? Maybe we’ll create a new sport! Check out our collection of RocketSkates at http://shop.actonglobal.com

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